The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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