can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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