You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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