Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize