whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize