I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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