I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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