never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
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Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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