new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize