Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
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Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
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don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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