Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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