she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize