I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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