He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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