apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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