two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize