VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize