on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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