I want to have your abortion
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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