I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
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my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just googled if crying burns calories
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
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Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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