I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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