she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
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its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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