Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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