he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
we made out on top of his cat.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize