My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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