there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
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I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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