so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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