Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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