Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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