Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize