Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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