This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize