sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize