Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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