dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
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Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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