I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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