apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize