Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize