Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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