i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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