id be glad to
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize