you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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