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So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
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