The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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