so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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