This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize