I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize