even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize