i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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