Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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